July 26, 2013

• Circles of Pain

  I am an acquired taste.  I have been so, for many years, partly because of mild autism and partly because I am an odd mix of the cerebral, the sensual and the spiritual.  My words often need a second, or third hearing or reading,because of this complexity.  Still, as I have been reminded by both well-meaning friends and by my own meditation, I am in no want of quality companionship and daily doses of love.

  My angst of the past week has been mistaken by some observers as being a cry for physical intimacy.  The fact, though, is that I have been celibate,by faith and by choice, for the past four years.  I will not sully my dignity, or anyone else's, by adding further details on that aspect of my life.

  I have felt a high level of pain, largely because I am empathetic to the current sufferings of a very dear friend, in fact my best friend in the physical frame.  I have spoken of this often enough that I can leave that aspect alone as well.

  Each of us, no matter how prosperous, how well-off we appear on the surface, has to undergo a certain level of angst and pain.  Without these, we settle for our lot, in an imperfect world, failing to realize the true reason for our physical existence, which is to know and love God.  If it seems this is difficult in the flesh, imagine doing it in the non-physical, spiritual realm which awaits us.  Just as none of us can ever completely understand even a fleeting glimpse of Who God is, to take the figurative, allegorical descriptions of the Spiritual Realm to heart,and conjure images of an infernal fire or a blissful paradise, is equally frivolous.  The time to focus on one's virtues is now, not in the hereafter, where far more intense tasks probably await us.

  Going back to the topic of emotional pain, I have found it circular in its course.  What starts out as a nettlesome problem for one person, quickly affects his/her significant other, family members, closest friends, advisers/mentors, and ripples out to the point where hangers-on, however well-meaning, get in over their heads.    The circle thus may become pain-inducing,well beyond its original scope.

  The key to breaking a circle of pain is for one and all to turn to the Higher Power, whatever you perceive Him, Her  or It to be.  Whether God, the Unknowable Essence,the Holy Spirit, or the Universe, this Force, and only this Force, can heal the pain.  This is why I have gone to so many sacred places on my current journey.  I would not have done this so intensely, had my best friend not taken me aside and told me of the cause of her emotional pain.  I don't regret trying to help her.  I would give my life for this woman.  She is not a physical diversion or a replacement for my departed spouse.  She is a thinking, feeling, virtuous human being, who has the ability to rise above her pain.  Likewise, her spouse has the ability to rise above his pain.  We all do, and we all deserve one another's help, and the Power of Divine Assistance.  This is applicable to all, from the baby getting frustrated by hunger, to the victims of war in places like Syria, dodging daily bullets.

  I do not care to hear about how good I have it, compared to others.  I know how well-off I am, and am grateful to God, to His Messenger, Baha'u'llah, to my angel, Penny and to all my sincere friends, for my relative good fortune.  This is not about me.  My current focus is on one person's pain, and walking it back to all those in the circle, who are suffering, and getting a handle on what lessons may be learned, and how to move on, as a group.  I want my friend's circle of pain to be broken- ENOUGH!

  • 8:52 pm
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