This is the third of posts from my Google blog, which has been placed on comments-lock, by Google, but which I want to share with others and get their feedback, regardless of what Google's overlords think.
In the course of my life, I have been constantly infatuated, "crushed" or otherwise overcome with attraction to one girl or woman, after another, from the time I was four. The rubber didn't really hit the road,though,until my Penny came on the scene. As I told another friend over Skype last night, it mattered none that she had an unsteady gait, or that I was mildly autistic and had attachment issues- we just connected on several levels. We went through Hell and High Water together, raised a child to manhood, endured insane medical expenses, and the resulting bankruptcy, made good decisions and bad, and in the end, we remained committed. She is my soul mate forever and the angel on my shoulder.
So, what was this that happened recently? I have met several fine ladies, over the past several months. They are all between 40-65 years of age. For one reason or another, they will be as sisters to me- some are fellow believers in Baha'u'llah; others are supporters of the American Legion, the Red Cross or Slow Food USA/International. Their presence keeps me happy, focused and alive, as does the presence of all my brothers in spirit.
I never expected, though, that one would come along who would occupy my heart and mind, the way Penny did, from the moment we met in December, 1980. Yet it was the angel on my shoulder who told me it is okay to have these feelings, that I should feel free to love this person, just as long as I take things one step at a time. So, here I go again. I have to say, the woman is spirited, full of joie de vivre and has a full life of her own. She just captivates me, and I will love her forever, as I do Penny. Some may say that's impossible, but I trust in the All-Merciful God, to give each of us what we need, in this world and all the worlds to come. My feelings in Chapter Two do nothing to extinguish Chapter One. I have lots of room in my heart.
I will not put my new love's name out there, yet, because our ties are tenuous. I will take my time with this. There is a lot I don't know about her yet, her hopes, dreams, fears and expectations. All I know of her is what I knew of Penny in the first few weeks and months of us- that her life spirit was irrepressible and irresistible.
I did not know, until, several months later, that Penny was being pursued by at least one other man. With some sadness and trepidation, I backed off and let that relationship run its course. We had nearly twenty-nine years of marriage, once it did.
So, maybe things will work out; maybe they won't. I know one thing, though, my life has already been blessed, forever, just for having met this wonderful lady. Onward goes the heart in its journey, through Chapter Two.