July 8, 2013
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Women Friends
I came back, about two hours ago, from an absolutely delightful evening, where 45 people celebrated the successful career, and retirement (transition into second career) of the woman who is the driving force behind Slow Food Prescott. Her whirling dervish approach to life is very closely approached by the energy and drive of her husband of over 30 years.
I have many women friends. Most of them are in committed relationships with fine people, who treat them the way I treated my late darling Penny. Those who are "unattached" know that I care for them as people. Romance is a dicey thing, though, and can't be forced.
My best women friends are affectionate in their speech, using terms like "Baby","Sweetie", "Honey", the way a lot of waitresses use such terms- in coquetry, and with genuine, nonsexual love for the person whom they are addressing. They are people on whom I can depend in time of need, but I am not their lover. I, too, use terms like "Sweetheart", "Angel", and "Precious", in addressing women I have known for at least six months- not as a patronizing and demeaning term, but as a sign that I value them.
My women friends are, mostly, huggers and touchers. A few prefer the handshake, and that's just fine. I can trust them every bit as much as the rest of my friends.
Women make good friends, to me, because they are essentially kind, honest and take a sisterly or daughterly interest in my world. I get along fine with men, but our relationships, other than those with my son, brothers and nephews, are MOSTLY professional and businesslike. I can't envision a world in which I have no women friends.
Comments (14)
that is so sweet of you to say and just like all men aren't honorable -all women aren't either. You really have friends and you just pick the right ones.
Kind and honest interest is, to me, the best signal of friendship. I have had to learn to hug -- outward signs of affection were not acceptable in the family I grew up with. May you always have friends of both genders, Gary!
I did not trust women until I was 74. Ido not have real life friends of any kind, but I have many very nice gal friends in Xanga.
@Texasjillcarmel - Among both genders are those who are less than honourable. I steer clear of toxic people, of either gender.
I wish the same for you, Janet.
@HUMOR_ME_NOW - Sometimes, virtual friends can become friends in real time, Frank. I have experienced this with both Xanga and Facebook friends.
I'm glad you have good friends
As am I.
I understand what you are saying...and am so glad you have such good friends.
I think it's because I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys, and was close to my brothers...I had more male friends than female friends. I always have had 3 or 4 super close female friends and then many, many male friends. 
I, however, think MEN make better friends...for the same reasons you think females make good friends!
HUGS!!!
I've heard a lot of people say that men and women can't be "just friends," and it has always irked me. I'm glad that you and your women friends don't feel that way!
I'm personally not a hugger, but I will do it if I have to. You know how some people are; they just put out their arms, and what am I supposed to do? Dodge away? Hubby will hide behind me from some of them. We have a friend who always shortens peoples' names to one syllable, I guess as a sign of affection. I guess I don't mind being called "Di," but Hubby really doesn't like being identified as "Tone!"
@adamswomanback - Somebody has to be friends with us guys, Carolyn. Each of us is a tie that binds.
@whyzat - People should be greeted in the manner with which they are comfortable. They also should be addressed with the name they offer, by way of introduction. I am glad to consider both of you my friends.
Growing up, I found women 'friends' to be catty! I preferred male friends in college. They were never jealous or talked behind my back. I do not have too many women friends.
@ZSA_MD - I hear that quite often, from women. I think the long-term solution is empowerment. The powerful, self- actualized women I know do not busy themselves with pettiness. I realize it will take many years for this to be the norm, but it's a worthy goal.
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