January 19, 2015
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The Road to 65, Mile 51: Real Friendship
January 18, 2015- The question came up, earlier today, about energy flows and what they might have to do with who is attracted to whom. Throughout life, I have found myself inexplicably drawn to people, of various ages, and all types, for no outward reason. The same has happened with people being drawn to me.
Most of these encounters tend to run their course, and many of these people I see once, twice or a few times, and then not again, for a long time, if ever. Yet, I never forget them. There are others who have gone on, and with whom I still communicate, in thought waves and in visions. This is especially true with my late wife.
There are maybe two dozen people alive today, who are indelible in my life, and with whom I enjoy a robust and mutually supportive friendship. Perhaps five or six, I have never met, in real time. Another ten or so, I’ve met, face-to-face and spent a day or two with them, here and there. Others are a regular, almost daily, part of my world, both on-and offline.
Real friendship does not depend on physical presence, on lock-step agreement or on identical world-view. It does depend on mutual respect, regard and willingness to fully entertain and learn from the other’s point of view, It also depends on a passionate commitment to the friend’s best interests, as well as to one’s own. Forbearance is frequently essential, for who among us is 100% in sync with any other person? True friends are there at the end of a bout of pain-fueled rage; there, as a period of confusion and foolishness ensues; there, in happy times and in their opposites. A true friend sees the real person shining through, regardless of occasional lapses.
There will not be a time when I don’t treasure my real friends.
Comments (4)
Beautiful post. We know who is there for us and who isn't. In this life, caring is not easy, but an ongoing journey for people who do care.
That it is, Miriam, along with everything else.
My group of friends is small. I am selective. Still I have many friends I have never met in person who remain as close to me as those I dine with regularly! The distance between friends is not measured in miles.
No, it isn't, thankfully. I have people of varying degrees of intimacy who are glad to see me, no matter how long it's been.
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